


Need Your Light

by prussium



Series: Need Your Light [1]
Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anal Sex, Domestic, Engagement, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-26
Updated: 2017-02-07
Packaged: 2018-07-18 08:17:59
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7307218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/prussium/pseuds/prussium
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Tired of having wine with filthy rich European men?” Alfred asked, “I understand, I mean, how can you possibly find those parties interesting especially when I’m here?” </i>
  <br/>
  <i>Arthur looked at Alfred under his lashes.“You self-absorbed prat.” </i>
  <br/>
  <i>He kicked Alfred’s leg under the table, but then Alfred hooked both of their legs together. Arthur couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.</i>
</p><p> </p><p>It was one of those darker days for Arthur, when he needed Alfred’s bright smile and warm hugs. Sadly, there was an ocean between them and no phone call could relieve his longing. He went out of his way to see him and feel his touch, and not even distance could come in between them.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Arthur

**Author's Note:**

> I’m back with more sins! Never thought I’d write something like this for stress relief, but the demand had been strong for weeks. As you know, I’m fond of referencing song titles. This one’s from Ra Ra Riot’s latest album with the same name. Enjoy!

“You’re here!” 

Alfred dropped his leather bag and laptop case on the sofa and froze for a moment. Hands on his chest, he took another deep breath. He stared at Arthur with wide blue eyes before throwing himself around his boyfriend, squeezing him so tight that Arthur felt his soul leave his body and take shelter in Alfred’s. 

“You’re here! I can’t believe it!” 

Alfred’s lips never felt so good on his as he gave him a long, passionate kiss that he didn’t want to end. His hands felt like fire against Arthur’s skin as he let them wander under the collar of his shirt. If there was one thing Arthur liked about being apart for so long, it was his lover’s first touch against his skin. 

“Hello, love.” Arthur trailed his fingers along the back of Alfred’s neck, his tone apologetic for breaking in Alfred’s apartment (of course he knew where the spare key was) and giving him a mini heart attack. 

“I thought your flight’s tomorrow?” Alfred’s little smooches were ticklish because of his boyfriend’s light stubble.

“Couldn’t wait for another day to catch some sun. Why? Are you busy?” 

Alfred glanced at his laptop case and bit his lip. “I-I have a seminar tomorrow, but that’s alright. Hey, is that your new bag?” 

Arthur had to admit that this yellow backpack was a refreshing change from his typical preferences. He’d always been a luggage person really, but since he and Alfred had started travelling more often, Alfred had suggested him to get a backpack. 

“Yup. It’s the one I told you about the last time I called. Do you like it? It’s not as posh as my little grey luggage, is it?”

The backpack lay on the floor between them, full of clothes worth a week’s stay. “Yeah, I like this one better. Looks like you can fit more clothes in it, too.” 

“Want some coffee?” They chorused, except Alfred said ‘tea’ instead of ‘coffee’. Silence passed before they laughed. Alfred hooked an arm around Arthur’s waist and lead him to the kitchen. 

“Kiku gave me a box of sencha from Kyoto,” he said, “He said it’s for when you come over.”

Arthur scanned the box and had a whiff of its content, which made him forget about his long and bothersome flight earlier. “Ah, cheers, Kiku!”

The familiar humming of the coffee maker and the kettle filled the silence. Sunset flooded through the window, painting the walls with light and silhouettes. This kind of atmosphere made him feel more at home in Alfred’s apartment. 

He watched Alfred move around the kitchen, studying the way the light hit his face and casted shadows on the other half. He loved how the muted lighting made his eyes flash like electric current. In London, Arthur had a wall of Polaroids of his favourite little moments. It was a stress relief project to remind him of his better times. When Alfred came over for the first time, it puzzled him. He said he couldn’t get the essence of the pictures, thinking they were so mundane. _Why did you take a photo of my bedroom window? What’s so artistic about it?_ Arthur laughed like he just cracked a good joke and kissed him. _Those moments mean the world to me, you idiot_ , he told Alfred. 

“Here ya go.” Alfred placed their drinks on the table. The bunny on Arthur’s favourite mug beamed at him. He opened a pack of dark chocolate digestives as well, an important part of Arthur’s pick-me-up kit. 

Arthur’s smile spread wider and pecked his cheek. “Thanks, darling.”

Alfred’s face glowed bright red and he made no effort to hide his smile. They sat across each other and had their drink, relishing their wordless company. Arthur’s tea was appetising. He ran his fingers up and down his mug, while Alfred reached for his other hand and broke the silence.

“Is something wrong?”

Arthur blinked. Being with Alfred for years, he learned that silence made him anxious. It gave them space, and he was never comfortable with distance. On the other hand, travelling together taught Alfred that Arthur was a light packer, and he’d never pack too much for a weekend trip. 

“It’s nothing… I’m just…” He suddenly took interest in his tea. 

He only made surprise trips when he felt out of sorts. He wished he could tell Alfred that the real estate industry was slowly consuming him with the long hours of rigid, mindless work. There were days when he found himself wanting to run away from this toxic cycle and look for an antidote. This was when he needed to take a break and be with Alfred. Sometimes he wished he could just jump into the ocean and swim his way to him. 

“Tired of dreary London?” Alfred licked the dark chocolate from his fingertips. “Land acquisition in Europe got too boring? Tired of having wine with filthy rich European men?” He continued, “I understand, I mean, how can you possibly find those parties interesting especially when I’m here?” 

Arthur looked at Alfred under his lashes.“You self-absorbed prat.” 

He kicked Alfred’s leg under the table, but then Alfred hooked both of their legs together. Arthur couldn’t wipe the smile off his face.

They sat for another ten minutes, talking about spring time in the US. Arthur described how pretty the cherry blossoms were on his way to Alfred’s apartment. It was spring break, but they’d never had a spring break since college graduation. They used to have a picnic on parks and spend their time looking at the blooming flowers or listening to birdsongs. But that was before Arthur moved back to England. 

When Alfred stood and left him at the table, Arthur couldn’t hold it back anymore. He followed Alfred to the sink where he was washing the mugs, and held him.

His chest was heavy and bursting with his toxic life. It contained too many sticky notes telling him to do things that he had little interest in, mountains of paperwork that were slowly turning into a white landmass on his desk, and his failing ability to smile naturally that had made him look like an idiot when facing his officemates as his mind would draw a blank during small talk. All of these lead him to count the hours until he could come home, wishing Alfred would welcome him and ask how his day went, rather than vent to the voice at the end of the line.   

The faucet’s hypnotic current stopped, and Alfred’s cold fingers traced circles at the back of his hands. 

“What’s wrong, baby?” Alfred asked. His voice sounded so gentle, like sleep after a long and exhausting day. 

Arthur needed a sanctuary. It was getting darker and colder again, with no end in sight, and he needed his sunlight to live. 

“I missed you so much.” He pressed his face against Alfred’s back, so tight that nothing could come in between them.   

“I missed you too.” Alfred tugged at the slim arms wrapped around him. “But we’re together now.”

He turned, grabbed Arthur’s face, and locked their lips together. The hot and heavy breaths and those aggressive hands that gripped at his hair, his neck, and his chest reminded Arthur of the phone calls they had almost every night. Arthur secretly hated those phone calls. All he and Alfred did was talk, and sometimes a little more than talking, which involved feeling each other’s touch through their own skin. It only left him reaching to the empty side of the bed and craving Alfred’s presence even more. Why did he have to be halfway across the world?

Arthur let himself be surrounded by Alfred and get lost in his touch. Nothing could replace physical contact, especially after they were suppressed by distance for a long time. Pinned against the sitting room wall, Arthur slipped his hands inside Alfred’s chequered blue and white shirt. They roamed downward, underneath Alfred’s button fly trousers and felt the heat and the stiffness between his legs grow harder. 

“You know, I was always thankful I had drinking problems in uni.” Arthur pressed his lips against Alfred’s ear. 

Alfred stopped nipping at his neck and pulled away, forehead creased with confusion. 

“I wouldn’t have met you if I just locked myself in my room every night,” Arthur justified. 

“Well, there could’ve been more chances if you didn’t skip Business Math too often.” Alfred inserted a leg between Arthur’s thighs. 

“That’s true,” Arthur leant close enough to stare at Alfred’s blue eyes, “but to be honest, I found you more attractive as a bartender than a nerdy, talkative maths whiz.” 

“Point taken.” Alfred reached behind Arthur and groped his tight arse while they kissed until they ran out of breath. 

Back in university, Arthur would hop from one bar to another every night, drinking and looking for company. What he would find was trouble before the night could end, and he would often come home with a broken nose and an empty wallet. He might have been a typical broke and aimless millennial, but he always kept in mind that he had the power to take charge of his own life. Every night, he deliberated whether he’d like to see another day or not until he met this irritatingly charming bartender at Black Water and took his mind off the dark clouds overhead. 

Black Water seemed to have a huge patronage because of this bartender, who aggressively introduced himself as Alfred F. Jones with a wide, pearly-white grin. He’d always make Arthur’s drinks, some of them for free. Amused by his short temper and English accent, he’d make jokes that would render a snarky reply or an insult. He enjoyed Arthur’s company so much, enough to take pity on him one night when he got too drunk to go home by himself. By the time they reached Arthur’s place, they relieved the sexual frustration they had for months. Arthur went to his Business Math class the next morning only to find Alfred in the room. He sat in horrified silence until Alfred invited him for coffee. 

Why they had to relieve their sexual tension in their last year in uni, they would never know. They couldn’t keep their hands off each other— they did it at the bar where Alfred worked, in an empty classroom, in Arthur’s car— until Arthur had to fly to England for internship. When he finished, he was given a promising job offer he couldn’t find elsewhere, and so he went there to work. Since then, honeymoon phase was over, and they were forced to live apart. 

Alfred unbuttoned his Calvin Klein shirt, a present for Arthur’s birthday last year. Running his fingers down Arthur’s torso, he said, “I have to say, yoga suits you very well.”

“Thanks, love,” said Arthur, “Glad you like my new self-care routine.” 

Yoga and sattvic diet were Arthur’s new ways of taking better care of himself. They gave him a well-sculpted body and some peace of mind. Alfred could hardly understand and thought he was being posh, but he seemed to like the results especially when they lay in bed. 

Shirts unbuttoned, trousers peeled off and tossed to the floor, they rubbed their clothed erection together. Arthur dove after they rolled over Alfred’s sheets and kissed the tent in his boxer-briefs. He fondled and licked it, making Alfred sigh, and then he moved his mouth to plant kisses along his thighs. 

“Have I told you I love your thick thighs?” Arthur went on kissing and licking and nibbling at the inside of his thighs. Then, he slipped his hands under to squeeze Alfred’s behind. “And your gorgeous, massive arse…” 

Alfred moaned and blushed. “I love you and your foul mouth.”

He grabbed Arthur and held him down. From his position, Arthur could see his lover’s face clearly. His forehead dripped with sweat, his eyes so full of lust, his lips swollen and shiny with spit. Arthur swept his fingertips along the sides of his face and gave him a look that said _fill me up_. 

This drove Alfred mad. He pounced on Arthur and kissed him intensely while taking their underwear off. Arthur could feel Alfred’s excitement in his kisses and his touch, the way he secured his hips and locked their bodies together. 

Alfred ran his fingers across Arthur’s skin. Arthur sucked his thumb, and Alfred glided it down to his nipple, causing him to lift his hips and rub against Alfred even more. Alfred breathed against his jaw. “I can’t wait to have you.”

After his hands roamed between Arthur’s legs, Alfred put lube in his lover’s hands and thrusted his cock into them. Arthur felt how it smoothly glided in his hands, felt it firmness, and imagined it going inside him. His heart raced at this thought. 

Slowly parting Arthur’s thighs with his knee, Alfred placed his cock between Arthur’s legs so he could feel its heat and hardness. He slid in and out as he kissed, sucked, and bit at Arthur’s lips. 

Arthur had been waiting for this. He was tired of hugging pillows that could never hug him back. He wanted to be held so badly, wanted to curl against Alfred instead of sleeping on a cold and empty bed. No amount of comforters could ever replace Alfred’s warmth that would protect him from English winters. 

Alfred continued to say things that make Arthur blush in between kisses while relaxing his entrance. When he had two fingers inside, Alfred started sucking him. Arthur moaned and opened his eyes to watch Alfred wrap his skilful mouth around his cock. He brushed away the wheat-blond strands that covered his eyes; Alfred gazed up at him softly in thanks. It didn’t take long until Arthur was twisting and gripping at the sheets breathlessly. He couldn’t stop his body from reacting to the wonders Alfred’s mouth was doing to him. He kicked his legs and scrunched his stomach muscles and threw his head back to the pillows as he delighted in this blissful torture. “Alfred, Alfred, oh god, Alfred!”

When he was close to coming, Alfred let go of his rigid cock to be inside him. Arthur groaned in pain at his first thrust. 

“Sorry.” Alfred frowned. “I’m sorry.” He continued his apology by planting affectionate kisses across Arthur’s chest and sucking at his nipples.

“It’s alright.” He ran his fingers across Alfred’s back and pressed his nose against his sweaty forehead. He sighed when Alfred cupped his balls and squeezed them softly. 

They lay together, touching and exploring each other’s body like it was their first time. Once Arthur was relaxed enough, they tried again, slowly and more gently this time. A number of thoughts suddenly occupied Arthur’s mind that distracted him while Alfred filled him up. His lover noticed of course, but he didn’t say something until he was deep within him. 

Alfred pressed his lips on his eyelids. “What are you thinking?” 

Arthur exhaled and looked at the window so he wouldn’t face Alfred. “Do you think I shouldn’t have taken that offer?” 

“You mean your job?” 

Arthur nodded. “If only I could work here, we wouldn’t have to be apart.” 

“Please don’t say that. I’m sure you won’t have it any other way. It was meant for you.” When Arthur said nothing, he added, “Besides, it’s for the best. We’re saving up for our future, right?” 

He laced their fingers together like he did when he’d try to ease Arthur’s anxiety. “We’ll find a way to be together again,” he said, “I promise.” 

Little did Alfred knew, he was the reason why Arthur started looking forward to another day. Alfred made him a better person. There were days when he couldn’t find a reason to be loved, but Alfred was always there to remind him. He accepted him as he was, all his calm and stormy days. 

Touching and kissing soon replaced talking as they moved with one, undulating motion— like the sea waves, smooth and uninterrupted. Alfred sucked on Arthur’s neck while he picked up a faster pace, roughly sliding in and out of him like never before. Arthur cried whenever he hit that spot right _there_ , and begged him to do it again. 

He watched as Alfred closed his eyes and opened his mouth in pleasure. He listened to his ragged breathing and basked in Alfred’s warmth and love. He held on to him, his fingernails digging into Alfred’s back it surely stung, leaving his mark to show the universe they would always find their way to each other. 

Alfred’s moaning was music to his ears. His chest fluttered each time Alfred screamed _Arthur_ with his annoying, atrocious, adorable accent while he finished. Arthur came right after Alfred with the help of his hands. He pumped and pumped and pumped until Arthur spilled his incoherent thoughts and heat exploded inside him. Both of them spent and exhausted, they lay together in companionable silence. 

Arthur studied the ocean in Alfred’s eyes, which never failed to soothe him. Alfred gazed back at him, his chest heaving, and smiled. He was about to pull away when Arthur said, “Please, please, stay inside.” 

Alfred sighed happily and murmured sweet nothings in Arthur’s ear, kissing his collarbone, sweeping his tongue along his neck, surrounding Arthur. “My darling, my sweetheart…” he said, “My sunshine… light of my life.” 

Arthur covered him in kisses as well, letting Alfred know he loved him equally. Alfred buried his face on Arthur’s neck, and that was how they would fall asleep. “I’m so happy you’re here. Oh, Arthur,” he said with a sleepy voice, “Stay with me until morning.” 

Arthur ran his hands through his hair and wrapped him in an embrace. “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Alfred was his morning light, his second chances.


	2. Alfred

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was one of those darker days for Alfred, when he needed Arthur’s words to spread light and guide him. Fortunately, his boyfriend crossed the Atlantic to be with him for the weekend. As they tried to solve their personal issues, they were reminded why they needed each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to explore both points of view, so I wrote 2 chapters. Plus, Arthur has one last surprise!   
> I’m sorry for any typos, spelling inconsistencies, errors, etc. I use American English (though I’m not American lmao), but my computer refuses to be ‘corrected’, just like Arthur. :P

For Arthur, he’d do anything. He’d cut down spending on action figures and stop drinking overpriced coffee to bridge time zones and be with Arthur. He’d stay up all night and rekindle his love-hate relationship with airports, ready to face the first and the last place where he sees Arthur, to sail across the sea of people, withstand the slow burn of a delayed midnight flight, looking forward to send his car flying, so he and Arthur could do the same to their clothes once they locked his apartment door. 

Alfred had prepared himself for his upcoming trip, but when he went home and found Arthur 24 hours before the expected big day, his chest felt like it was about to explode. 

His digital alarm clock blinked 2:33am, and his impulse was to reach the other side of the bed. Finding Arthur sleeping peacefully, he sighed in relief. He never liked waking up alone. Growing up, he shared beds with his brother Matthew, until Arthur came into the picture. But just as he was getting used to waking up next to Arthur, his perfect boyfriend had to go back to England and he could do nothing about it. As their careers took off thousands of miles apart, it had been more and more difficult to give up on them and start from scratch on the other country, so they agreed on being apart and cross the ocean a couple of times a month.

Alfred nabbed his boxers from the floor and sat by the wide, floor-to-ceiling window. Craving a cigarette, he turned his attention to the sleeping cityscape to not break his promise about quitting. Watching the nighttime blur of lights was his favorite thing about living on the 48th floor— it made him feel like an astronaut stargazing in space. 

He turned his gaze back to Arthur who lay motionless in bed, one hand resting on his midriff as the other stayed on his side. His boyfriend drifted away right after their first lovemaking; he must have been so exhausted after traveling for seven hours. In the quiet hours of morning, he breathed like a tranquil sea, unaware of the city lights ghosting his pale skin, yellow patches punctuating the blue darkness. 

Arthur had given him the kind of rush he got when opening Christmas presents, or when seawater would spray his skin for the first time in the summer. This rush, this electric current would cascade and fill every corner of his being whenever he would be with Arthur again. 

Slipping in between the sheets, he claimed his spot beside Arthur and cuddled him. Looking for a response, he wrapped a leg around his waist, skin rubbing against skin, and whispered, “Hey, are you awake?”

Arthur, his eyes still closed, took a sharp breath. He clung into Alfred and drew him close, so that he could breathe him in. He murmured, “Go back to sleep, darling…”

Having touch as Alfred’s love language pained him even more not being able to be with Arthur and feel his skin, his body, every night. In times of need, they were apart. He’d constantly missed the weight of Arthur’s head on his shoulder when they had those random quiet moments. Sometimes when he’d come home from the gym, he’d imagine Arthur in bed, leafing through his book. Alfred would complain about his aching muscles, saying he’d pushed himself to the limit, and Arthur will press his lips to soothe the pain. He’d cuddle Arthur till one of them fell asleep. 

Alfred let Arthur’s scent fill his lungs. His cologne still smelled like the rain, and a whiff of green tea lingered in his skin. He loved it when his bedsheets started to smell like him; at least a part of him would remain in his absence. 

He opened his eyes and watched Arthur’s slumbering face some more, processing the fact that Arthur was really with him, and it was not some sort of a daydream he’d made in his head. They were together for the mean time, and Alfred’s empty arms were suddenly embracing Arthur again. He wasn’t alone anymore. 

Whenever he traced sadness in his voice over the phone, Alfred wanted nothing but to swim his way to Arthur, until his feet could touch the shore, and hug him and tell him everything would be okay. 

When he’d miss Arthur, he’d make constant phone calls at night asking him to tell a joke or a funny story, to _talk British._ It was his way of distracting himself, taking away the stress as he listened to his lover telling him about how his day went. Oh, how he loved to hear the words he used. 

Of course, it was inevitable for them to have arguments. Having strong opinions that often clashed— whether it was Arthur’s sharp tongue deflating Alfred’s ego or Alfred’s brash statements digging deep into Arthur’s sensitive ears— they would end up saying hurtful things to win the argument, never mind if they meant it or not. Both would be too proud to apologize and refuse to resolve the argument before ending the call. Left alone to himself, Alfred would have a dreadful case of self-loathing and think about their fight all through the next day. He hated upsetting Arthur; he could imagine him overthinking all night, carrying his frustration to bed. He’d admit his fault as soon as he could talk to Arthur— when he had calmed his nerves and accepted Alfred’s calls again— usually after two days or so. Arthur would confess he’d lost sleep and say sorry as well, acknowledging his faults and making it up to Alfred by talking about their next reunion. They would talk until Alfred could only hear the rhythm of Arthur’s breathing on the other line, and he’d fall asleep wishing he’d wake up where Arthur was.

Last night, he held on to him really tight, as if saying, _Please stay with me. Don’t ever go._ He pressed his mouth all over Arthur’s skin, kissing, liking, nipping, and marking him, telling the world that Arthur was _his_. He shuddered against his body, and Arthur tried to soothe with his touch, fingers running through Alfred’s hair, stroking him and whispering in his ear until the shuddering simmered down. Those few moments felt eternal; they might have been short but he tried to make up for all the lost nights. He gave all he had. 

If only it was easy to give up everything in exchange for this every day life. His heart ached. He longed to see Arthur’s face first thing in the morning, every day. He’d love to wake up again to Arthur bringing him a strong brewed coffee and a kiss. He wished he didn’t have to daydream while walking alone around the city. If Arthur was with him, they’d be exchanging witty banters and make sharp comments and laugh like they knew a secret the rest of the world didn’t. 

“Arthur?” Alfred whispered against his ear. 

Arthur’s voice cracked with sleep. “What is it?” 

“Remember when everyone thought we were having sleep overs because we were studying for finals?” 

Arthur blinked his eyes and smiled at the fond memories. “Little did they know, we were actually exploring each other’s body— that was Biology.” 

Alfred’s laughter resounded in the bedroom, infectious enough to make Arthur chuckle in return. 

Alfred’s most memorable times in college revolved around losing sleep. At around midnight, he’d expect Arthur to knock on his door and ask him to hang out somewhere. Sitting on rooftops, they drank and talked about nothing. The earliest time they went to sleep was at 4am, but that was alright with Alfred as long as he could hear Arthur’s genuine laughter and he chased away the persistent dark thoughts that the other had.

Arthur folded his arms over his head and stared at the ceiling thoughtfully. “At that time, I was second guessing my decision to move here.”

Alfred made a noncommittal noise at the back of his throat. “Well, obviously, I thank the universe for whatever reason it gave you to stay here,” he slowly reached below Arthur’s navel and tugged at his cock, “I’d have never known how _great_ this is.”

“You twat.” Arthur playfully pinched Alfred’s nose. 

They basked in the silence that stretched between them. Arthur lightly placed his palm on Alfred’s bare stomach, ran his hand up to his chest, and back to his stomach again. 

Alfred dragged his fingertips across Arthur’s skin and started tracing a slow ring around his hip.  

Arthur slapped his hand away. “That tickles.” 

Alfred smiled and kissed his shoulder. As he wrapped an arm around him, Arthur stroked his cheek. 

Closing his eyes, Alfred listened to his roaring heart. He was with Arthur, the person he loved the most. Between Arthur’s favorite songs and Alfred’s tales, it was he who Arthur listened to. This was his Arthur, who’d use insults to coat his obvious affection. This was his Arthur who’d groan and shake his head but still smile at Alfred’s grand and silly ideas. 

“Are you busy this weekend?” Arthur twisted to his side to face him better.

“Not really,” he exhaled, “I just have a seminar tomorrow and on Monday, and I’m a bit worried about my presentation…” 

Seeing concern cross Arthur’s face, he added, “But I can handle it! I’ll be free as a bird by Saturday!”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind if we stay at home this weekend,” said Arthur, “We can experiment in the kitchen and order pizza if things would go wrong, just like before.” 

Alfred’s eyes went wide. “I appreciate the offer, but I’d rather have my apartment intact.” 

“That’s a shame.” Arthur’s snicker betrayed his hurt expression. He laughed even more as Alfred planted ticklish kisses all over his face. 

“Would you believe some of the professors think I’m below drinking age?” asked Alfred. “I’m 28, and I have a PhD in Environmental Science, for heaven’s sake!” 

He’d been making breakthrough discoveries with his research team and they would save the world. Currently, they’ve been working on a study involving marine ecosystems; they were going to save coral reefs, including The Great Barrier Reef. 

“Let me guess, is it because you get along swimmingly with your students?” Arthur mockingly wondered why his brilliant boyfriend was often mistaken to be younger than he was. “Or is it because they think you’re… immature?”

“Probably.”

Alfred let silence speak for him. He studied the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling that brought the outer space closer to him. 

As a child, he’d been fascinated by living things around him and the science behind them. He believed that science could explain everything and it would help him protect the world’s natural wonders, which made him build a career in Environmental Science. Yet, everybody was saying he was stupid, and so he started believing it. He’d struggled and worked really hard to prove them wrong. It didn’t stop his worries to multiply as he advanced, however. He kept thinking he was still unstable in the outside world; he believed he was too idealistic his goals were too big for him to achieve. What if he couldn’t achieve them? Hell, he even felt inadequate towards his relationship with Arthur. He couldn’t spend enough time with him. 

Soft fingertips slowly traced his arms, anchoring him back to the present, to his bedroom. Arthur dipped the tip of his nose to Alfred’s shoulder as he placed his palm on the other’s stomach. He kissed the crook of his neck before stroking the sides of Alfred’s face. “Look at me.”

Did he say his thoughts aloud? He turned his face to Arthur’s direction and found his eyes shining under the strip of fluorescent lights— like how forests shine when kissed by sunlight— and he couldn’t possibly look away. With a suddenly serious expression, he said, “You’re one of the most genuine people I’ve ever met, and I’ve seen you work so hard to improve yourself over the years. You’ve endured long hours of work to achieve milestones, and you’ve been nothing but impressive. I’m proud of everything you’ve achieved and for making it this far.”

Only Arthur could see through him— all the feelings he’d conceal behind those smiles and his sense of humor. Only with Arthur could he put his mask down and rest his bones. 

He studied the face of his favorite person. In a flash, he thought of the way Arthur’s eyes lit up when offered tea, the way he used his fingers to brush back the wild strands from his forehead, and the awkward little smile that followed. At that moment, he was lost into those pools of green, those lakes in the middle of a forest, reflecting the green, green trees. 

“You are enough,” continued Arthur, “Don’t be afraid of failure— it will help you grow. And even when you fail too many times, I’ll still be here. I promise.” 

He was at peace with Arthur. The world didn’t seem so wide anymore, didn't seem so scary. He chased Alfred’s nightmares away, never letting the monsters get him. He made Alfred feel like he could do anything, too; he gave him confidence, like he wasn’t stupid or slow or inefficient or directionless like everyone thought. 

Torrents of happiness poured in his chest, knowing Arthur had let him be this close. He was the kind of person who was distant to everyone, definitely not into whirlwind romances. People thought of him as a hopeless romantic for reading those novels, but he was cynical through and through. And yet he was promising to be with Alfred no matter what. 

Alfred blinked and opened his mouth as he fumbled for words. “I-I’m not sure how to follow that.” 

The worries dissolved from his brain as Arthur claimed his lips. He cradled Alfred’s face, thumbs caressing the line of his jaw, letting Alfred know how much he cared for him through touch. Alfred responded with more aggression, nibbling at Arthur’s lower lip, inhaling sharply as he knotted his fingers around Arthur’s disheveled hair. He was his best self because of Arthur. He had been his inspiration for years, his main motivator. He was always in Alfred’s mind whenever he’d make progress, thinking about hopping on a plane to London, how he’d break the news to Arthur, and how they’d celebrate together. 

Once they pulled away, Arthur collapsed against the mountain of pillows behind him, lips curved slightly upwards. 

“Cheer up, darling.” His breaths were loud and heavy. “I know you’ll make it through splendidly. Show them what you’re made of. Besides, I’m spending the week here.” 

Arthur didn’t really explain the reason why he’d pack up for a week, and it bothered Alfred. “What’s up with that, by the way?” He quirked an eyebrow. “You didn’t tell me you’re on a week-long trip.” 

“Ah, yes, about that,” Arthur fell into silence, collecting his thoughts, “I celebrated my five years in the company, and as a reward, they let me choose a city for my transfer… And I chose to transfer here.” 

Alfred gasped, his eyes wide. “Congratulations!” 

Before he could think about it, he’d tackled Arthur to the mattress and enveloped him in his arms. He closed his eyes and squeezed him tight, as though Arthur was made of helium gas and would fly to the stratosphere if he let go. He breathed him in, letting joy infiltrate his lungs and his heart, unable to wipe the grin from his face. Peppering Arthur’s face with kisses, he said, “Oh, Arthur. I love you very much.”

He heard Arthur laugh underneath him. “I know, darling,” he said, squeezing him back, “I love you just the same.”

For a moment, they gazed at each other without saying a word. Arthur brushed his fingertips against the hair on the back of his head. Alfred traced the side of his face, to his cheekbone, and his chin, wondering how someone like Arthur could admire him. He leaned closer and they shared another kiss. Arthur kissed him back, lifting his head a little to get a better angle, sucking at Alfred’s lips. Alfred basked at how Arthur’s touch make his heart skip a beat. Knowing Arthur was more prone to pining, he’d wanted to give him all the love that he had. 

Alfred adjusted the blankets for the two of them, and they curled into each other, barely leaving space for anything else between them.

“Let’s go back to sleep,” whispered Arthur.  

Looking up at the ceiling again, Alfred saw the stars. Arthur was one of them, his guiding star. 

* * *

The next morning, Alfred woke up with a gentle hand pressing against his shoulder. Was it time to get up? Didn’t he hear his alarm go off? Catching a whiff of coffee, he perked up, and he was smiling before he could open his eyes. 

“Hey, I have a question for you,” Arthur said as Alfred blindly located the mug. 

“Did you bring me coffee?” He croaked. 

Alfred propped up on his elbows and swiped his glasses from the nightstand. Arthur’s messy hair was like a jagged halo backlit by the morning light. His angel gave him a smile that greeted him _good morning_. He was on one knee, clothed in an immaculate dress shirt and neatly-pressed black pants. What time did Arthur wake up? On second thought, was he late for his seminar? 

He dismissed his thoughts as he saw the shift of emotions on Arthur’s face. His entire body was stiff and he looked like he forgot how to breathe. 

“What is it, honey?” 

Arthur cleared his throat and started slowly, choosing his words with care. “We’ve been together since university. We’ve faced tough times, but we’ve always surpassed them while holding each other’s hand. Being an ocean apart had been the most challenging bit for me, and I think it’s about time to change that. Alfred Jones, I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” He took a deep breath and presented a golden ring. “Will you marry me?” 

Alfred swallowed hard, his strong command of words failing him at that moment. Was he asleep? It took a few moments to come back to his senses, when Arthur’s lips had formed a deep frown. 

“Yes! Yes!” He burst. “A million times yes!”

Chill crept down his spine and electric current danced under his skin. His eyes watered at the corners, his vision blurring, as Arthur slip the ring to his finger. In one swift motion, he lifted Arthur from the floor, hugged him, and spun him around. His lips strayed from Arthur’s lips to his cheek, his neck, and back to his lips again. They didn’t care to state the obvious this time— it was all there, and they felt it surrounding them. 

Arthur was giving him those rare smiles that touched his eyes and Alfred had never thought it was possible to feel this happy. 

“To be honest, I never thought you’d be the one to ask that question,” he teased, running his hands along Arthur’s legs that were wrapped around his bare torso. 

“What can I say?” Arthur smirked into the kiss. “I was quicker than you, sleepyhead.” 

Alfred rolled his eyes in mock annoyance. “Alright, you win this time, future Mr. Arthur Jones.” 

“No way, I’m keeping my last name!” 

“Will you really?” He pouted.  

“Hmm, I’ll think about it.” 

They fell into the bed, Alfred on top of Arthur, whom he sprinkled with little kisses and tickles. Alfred closed his eyes, soaking the moment. Arthur’s laughter, his warm touch, his scent, his kisses— they all made way for the happiness flooding inside him, and he just wanted to keep it coming. For the record, this was one of the best ways to wake up, and it could only happen once. He took comfort in imagining their brighter mornings together in the future.  

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s my first time to write an engagement scene. I hope I didn’t butcher it too much lmao. Tell me what you think!

**Author's Note:**

> I’d really like to know what you think. Is it boring? Does it lack something? Does it need more conversations? Should I give more background about their relationship? Please tell me in the comments! Chapter two is in Alfred’s POV. Thanks for reading!


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